Euphemisms

Today's official weather report is Overcast.

Overcast is a bullshit word. Let's just go ahead and call the weather what it is. Awful.

Its cloudy, its damp, everything is wet. Cars make that really annoying sound as their tires channel water away and grip the road.

Many words can be used to describe today, but overcast is not one of them.

Overcast? Overrated.

Other Butterfly Post

And like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so too does winter become spring.

When does that happen you ask?

The Butterfly Effect

So you know how sometimes something starts off totally sucking and then winds up being ok at the end? Well it happens. Its called "the butterfly effect". That is what today is.

This morning? Terrible. This afternoon? Ok. Sun is out. Temperature is climbing. This are looking up.

If you're like me you're going to be busting out the above ground pool soon. Here's an instructional video teaching you how to make the pool slightly less above ground. (This is called "burying" in Canada) You're welcome.

What A Waste

Today's weather is an absolute waste of a day.

It's cold. It's cloudy. It's windy.

There is nothing good about it.

We are officially in mid-March. The weather should be starting to turn.

Today's weather is such a waste that I'm not even going to come up with anything clever to write.

Here's a video.

Snow.

Seriously not ok, weather.

Some negative outdoor weather.

So, not over weather?

Stop! Nothing outside's wonderful.

Super Notorious Outrageous Whiteboy

Ugly

What an ugly day. I've decided to make today's weather into an acrostic. Here it goes.

Slushy
Terrible
Ugly
Putrid
Indecent
Deplorable

It's damp, wet, and just a general disaster. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore.

In honor of all things gray, I dedicate this song to nice weather.

The Day Weather Upgraded Its Version of Windows

So yesterday's weather was completely unremarkable and awful.

Today its raining. It's a little warmer but still cold.

It seems like we went from Windows Vista to Windows 7. It still sucks, there is still ice everywhere, and we get stupid new features that aren't actually new features. For example, today I get to wear a water-resistant jacket because of the rain and cold. Yesterday I got to wear the same jacket because of the cold and afternoon rain. But hey my windows snap into place if I'm too lazy to resize them, right?

And now the history of W(indows + eather). Yes, I factored out a W to highlight the similarities.

The Sun Is A Liar

It looked so promising. The sun was shining. I guess that was all, but still that's something.

But then I went outside. Still cold. Still icy. And now, the sun is reflecting off the ice and basically become a blinding beam of non-atmosphere-warming light. Very mature sun.

Hard to find fellow sun haters, so here's the best slash first video I found:

Can't Be Beat

So the weather thinks it can stump me. Thinks it can throw out a completely unremarkable day and I'll have nothing to say. Apologies to Bart Scott, but I cannot be beat.

After I told the wind whats up yesterday and posted a video of some ducks being blown around (to mixed reactions), the wind packed its bags and hit the dirt. No wind today.

After I compared Winter to an illness, the temperature climbed above freezing. Being outside isn't awful.

But then the weather gets to thinking its all big and bad and sprinkles down some rain. I went all John-John Mackey on that rain and now its gone.

Today's summary: gray, damp, chilly, could be worse.

Apparently CCR didn't get the memo about me:

Wind? More Like Lose-d

I don't care what the temperature is. I don't care that it is only 95% cloudy today. That wind is awful.

My estimation of the wind chill is whatever the temperature is that makes humans most miserable. Not quite cold enough to freeze solid, but cold enough to think you're going to.

The wind really blew today's chances of nice weather.

Also, you may notice the site innovation on the sidebar. Twunderground is now your one stop shop for weather opinions AND weather facts.

Now for the destructive power of wind:

For Russ

Looks sunny. Can't really tell, haven't been outside. Victory?

For the record, the weather gets sick all time. See, e.g., Winter.

Today's perceived sunshine and isolation video:

Lions

So there's that saying about how March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.

Yeah well that saying is bullshit. I went outside today. Everything is just ice. It's ridiculous.

I did some research on this. The scholars at the Wikipedia Institute provide the following map:

The green is where lions live (not counting zoos). Coincidentally, the green is where ice doesn't live.

In conclusion, it is still cold and icy and I'm not happy about it.

Infinite Gray

Man. Everything is gray today. The sky, the remaining snow, the dirty ice, other stuff.

If today's temperature could be described as a color it would be gray.

At least its better than yesterday's forecast predicted. Today was supposed to be filled with ice pellets. I'm not even sure what that is. Isn't that just hail? Whatever, weather.

No youtube video today. Instead, an artistic interpretation of today's weather that I made in Microsoft Paint:

I Agree With The Texan

It's snowing again. This joke is getting old, weather.

Here's a guy from Texas in snow:



He's so right. This IS poo.

Thanks A Lot, Weather

Well it seems as if it snowed during the night. This morning everything is melting a little. It is a sloppy mess. My Uggs are ruined. Thanks a lot, weather.

Seven

Usually, sevens are good.

The Seventh Inning Stretch. 007. Seven Costanza. 7th Heaven. Half of 7-Eleven.

Seven is not good when it is the temperature.

This morning, the temperature is seven.

And it is still icy.

One more line of text.

Now this post has seven lines. Seven.

Still Cold. Argh.

Now the sun is out.

But wind, snow, and ice remain.

Weather, what the hell?

Seriously, Weather?

All the snow JUST melted. And now it is back.

This is me talking about the weather:



So unhappy.

Today's weather makes me feel: ANGRY :(

If today's weather was a song it would be: "Fuck You" by Cee Lo Green. In the music video, the weather would see me riding around town with the girl I love (played by sunshine and clear sidewalks) and it'd like "fuck you" and then it would snow.

Very mature, weather. Very mature.

Full Moon, Beware

In addition to today's weather, I'd like to provide a safety tip.

There is a full moon tonight, so beware. You don't want to be like the people from London. All my readers from the UK (you know who you are) know what I'm talking about.

Sunshine Friday

Today is excellent. Reasons:

1) It is Friday.

2) It is sunny.

3) The temperature is pleasant.

Enjoy this song featuring the sun.

Chance of Rain - 20%

Today's temperature is pleasant enough. I was slightly too warm in my t-shirt and jacket. So there's that.

However, yesterday's sunshine has been stolen. Chance of rain today is 20%.

Also, to mourn today's loss of sunshine:

The Weather Made A Decision

And it decided to be glorious. Just went to lunch, WITH MY JACKET UNZIPPED.

Make A Decision, Weather

Today's weather is confusing. It doesn't totally hurt to be outside, but sidewalks are still treacherous with ice. File this one under "weather isn't real".

If today's weather was a professional athlete, it would (obviously) be Brett Favre. Or Bron Bron.

Weather advice for the rest of the day: Winter jacket. Don't be fooled by the not-awful temperature. When the wind hits it can be cold. Also, we're still in the Six Months of Michigan Gray Skies. So water exists in the atmosphere. Chance of precipitation? 20%.

Weathered.

Dawn of an Era

Well well well, internet. It seems that there are still some people out there not completely aware of how far I am willing to take a joke or how much free time I have.

So here we are. Check back often not only for weather, but for life guidance.

Current weather: no idea. Can’t really see outside right now, but I think it’s dark.

Tonight’s moon phase: waxing gibbous.

This is the approximate level of analysis you can expect to find here:

Weather

It’s an ongoing, ever-changing, perpetual motion machine. Right now, it’s kinda sunny. But it’s not warm. Tomorrow, it could be cloudy and really warm. Did that just blow your mind?

Ground (and Weather) Rules

1) The First Rule of Twunderground is don’t talk about Twunderground.

2) Wunderground.com is the only source for weather-related information. Any mention of other weather sources will not be tolerated.

3) I am not a weather expert. I just have a passion for weather. I cannot be blamed for misjudging the weather or giving incorrect predictions.

4) The bulk of my methodology involves observation. Normally, I stare out of the window (sometimes longingly, sometimes in anger). This is how I “collect data.”

5) “Analysis” of “data” involves me making a witty comment. Sometimes, these comments may seem not so funny, but they are. Think about it.



Any questions? Post ‘em in the comments section.

Weatherrific

This blog will be all about the weather. This includes, but is not limited to, recent weather activities, what it looks like outside, what it feels like outside, and whether you (yes, YOU!) should wear a jacket at any given moment.